Wedding pictures hold some of the happiest memories of a lifetime, so be sure you consider all the angles when preparing to be photographed on the big day.
In the weeks and months leading up to the wedding…
Plan your procedures ahead — it’s easy to get caught up in the craziness of tastings, fittings and appointments and forget to schedule facial treatments until the last minute. Don’t be tempted to get microdermabrasion or chemical peels within at least a month of the event, depending on the exact type of laser or peel. Laser resurfacing “heals within days and normal color returns within a few weeks — if that long” according to Dr. Edward Lack (Chicago Rhinoplasty ). Even a simple facial shouldn’t be considered in the last few days leading up. Call well ahead of time and discuss this with the technician.
Practice good skin health — stay hydrated and eat healthfully leading up to the event. Don’t try new skincare products, or anything that may irritate your skin. Anticipate your skin’s history, and treat it accordingly depending on changes your skin may experience in the climate or weather that’s expected at the venue.
For the big day…
Start with a good base – be sure that your foundation is the right color and formulation for your skin. You may feel like you should use a heavy cream or stick foundation since you’re being photographed, but heavier formulas will look caked on and are more likely to leave a line of demarcation around the neck and hairline that’s tougher to blend away. Just stick with the liquid or powder that works for you, and be sure it’s properly matched to your color. No one wants to look washed out, but it can also age you a bit if your base is too dark for you. Color correcting concealers, like green or yellow for redness, and peach or yellow for undereye circles are a much better choice than simply layering on more makeup. Remember that redness will be easily picked up in photographs so take care to balance that out, and stay away from more pink based foundations.
Avoid the shiny look – glitter will reflect too much on camera, and shouldn’t be worn to a nice event like a wedding anyway. Radiance-enhancing or shimmery foundations make faces look too slick and shiny for photos, so if you must, only keep the sheen on cheekbones and the cupid’s bow for highlighting purposes. Always finish the t-zone with powder, which is especially important to balance any highlighting applied. If you know you’re more oily, pop pressed powder in your bag so that you stay shine free.
The eyes have it – keep in mind that darker eyeshadows and heavy liner make eyes look smaller. A matte or pearl shadow formula will be universally flattering and especially in warm, earthy tones. To keep eyes looking big and bright, highlight the inner corners and brow bone with an off-white, light pink or pale gold shadow or crayon. The older you are, the more important it is to stay fast to the no shimmer rule, as it tends to bring attention to fine lines. Black eyeliner can also look too harsh for older women (same goes for liquid liner) and fair blondes are more suited for eyeliner and mascara in the brown tones. Don’t forget to make sure brows are properly framing the face — everyone looks better and younger with defined brows. Fill the arches with powder or if using a pencil, blend with a brush. Brow color and size are important considerations here, so don’t forget to use a light hand and blend.
Consider your venue and lighting – do take the time to stop and think about if the event / photos will be taking place indoors or out, and at what time of day. Indoor photos will be taken with flash, so it’s important to use powder to combat shine and to also be sure foundation is matched well. If outdoors, soften makeup a bit as it can easily look too heavy or harsh. Also adjust your makeup look for more formal locations, and later times in the evening. When considering these factors, you will want to use more color and definition over simply adding more makeup.
Keeping these ideas in mind, remember its always most important to look like yourself and feel comfortable on your wedding day. These techniques will help ensure you look flawless both in person and in photographs for years to come.
Have you ever been to a wedding reception with the disc jockey from hell? The music is too loud, he doesn’t know how to get people on the dance floor, and he has the most ridiculous song collection ever!
Don’t let this happen at your reception party.
Our Number One Suggestion:
See the DJ in action before you hire him! Choose a DJ from a wedding you have attended. You might even be able to negotiate with a DJ that you are considering to be allowed to attend one of his events (never hurts to ask) before making your final decision.
Here are some questions to ask before hiring a DJ:
Are you the one who will DJ our wedding?
(Make sure you know who will be doing your wedding reception.)
How many people will cover the event?
How long have you been a disc jockey and how many weddings have you performed at?
(You don’t want your wedding to be his practice session, do you?)
Do you also Emcee the reception?
Do you wear a suit and tie?
What time do you arrive to setup the equipment?
Do you carry liability insurance?
How many songs do you have in your library?
Do you provide a wireless microphone for speeches?
Do you bring backup equipment with you?
Are lighting effects included?
Do you provide a written contract and guarantee?
What are the refunds / cancellation terms?
What are the terms of payment and what costs do I need to be aware of?
(gratuity, service charge, taxes, overtime, travel expenses, etc.)
Here is a video we found offering ten things to look for when hiring a DJ.
For additional ideas, you may find the following article to be helpful:
How to Hire a Wedding Disc Jockey By Kevin Colangelo
In the age of the Internet, things are very different. I started with maybe 100 albums, with an additional 200-250 45’s. That is not even a drop in the DJ bucket. I have seen websites of DJ’s who are claiming 20,000 available songs for their events. My own song library went from milk crates of albums, to boxes of cd’s, to MP-3 files on a USB hard drive. And, a USB hard drive is a lot easier to carry around than 20 milk crates.
So, what do you need to look for when you hire your DJ? I think one of the easiest ways to find a good DJ is to take a look at what people have complained about at my events. And be sure not to hire the same DJ these people hired.
“He just wouldn’t turn down the music”.
This has been among the most reported of the complaints I have heard about. One father of the bride, after the DJ had been asked to turn it down many times, finally told the DJ that he would stop payment on the check if the music wasn’t turned down.
How do you insure that you won’t have this same problem? Or if you do, what recourse do you have? Many DJ’s are subcontractors of national chain organizations. You have probably pre-paid for the event. I am sure the national organization will be interested in the conduct of the DJ. If you feel that you have been treated badly, let them know. If they receive additional complaints, that particular DJ might not be working for them in the future.
“He just wouldn’t shut up”.
I have had numerous event attendees come up to me over the years and thank me for not talking their ears off while I was doing the DJ work. A major complaint was that the DJ started “chattering” a minute or more before the song ended, kept up the dialog during the fade to the new song, and didn’t stop talking until the new song was almost a minute in.
One lady told me that the DJ she hired was talking thru almost half of each song. Someone figured out how to handle the situation: they all quit going out on the dance floor. When the DJ asked why no-one was dancing, someone shouted that they couldn’t dance when the DJ wouldn’t shut up. She reported that the DJ got the message.
As above, if the DJ is a sub-contractor, his umbrella organization will probably want to know how the DJ handled the event. If the DJ doesn’t comply with your requests, you may request a refund.
“He didn’t play any of the music we wanted to hear”.
This has been probably the most reported DJ problem. One lady told me that the DJ she hired for the 25th anniversary party she had scheduled for her parents wouldn’t play any of the music she had requested. He had asked her to give him a list of the music she wanted, but over halfway thru the party, he had not played anything she had listed.
In this instance, the DJ was not affiliated with a national organization. In order to get the event, he had given the client a 50/50 deal, 50% down and 50% at the conclusion of the event. The DJ was extremely surprised when the client rejected his request for the final payment. When the client showed the DJ the list of music she had given him, without a single song checked off as having been played, he responded that he expected to be paid, even though he had not played anything that had been requested.
“He didn’t show up with the equipment he promised”.
One attendee at an event I DJ’d told me of the following nightmare: She had hired a DJ for a singles mixer at a local night club/restaurant. The night club had 3 separate seating areas, for which the client had requested separate speaker systems, to provide music to all areas of the nightclub. When the DJ showed up, all he had was a single set of speakers, which were unable to provide sufficient sound to the areas farthest from where he set up. When the client asked where the rest of the rest of the speakers were, the DJ replied that he didn’t really have the additional speakers. The client had paid a 10% down payment, with the rest expected to be paid before the event would be started. The DJ had several excuses about why he didn’t have the equipment, but told the client he expected to be paid in full, simply because he showed up. I got the impression from the client that the DJ wasn’t happy.
After thirty years in the DJ industry, I have heard many other tales of woe. But, I think there are ways to decrease the possibilities that you will fall prey to the same types of DJ’s I have already mentioned. Now that we know who not to hire, let’s look at some things to look for to find the right DJ.
#1: Pre-determine the music required for the event you are planning.
Make a list of what you want to hear. I am sure it will change as the evening goes on, but you will start with something you are happy with.
Several years ago, I did a back-yard wedding reception. The list that the client gave me was actually quite simple: 50% classic rock, 25% country, 25% top 40. No problem. However, no one took into consideration that most of the attendees were of Mexican descent. It soon became apparent that by not listing that they wanted Tejano music, I didn’t make an effort to get Tejano music. I did, however, have a couple CD players. We scoured the CD libraries of two of the residents in the home, found all the Tejano music we needed, and salvaged the reception.
If you are planning, for example, a 50th anniversary party for your parents, they probably grew up in the 30’s, 40’s or 50’s. That’s the music they listened or danced to when they were dating. That’s the Big Band era. They are likely not going to get on the dance floor for Rap or Techno music. I am sure you will get someone out there for those music styles, but if you invited your parent’s friends, there won’t be many of their age group on the dance floor. So, find a DJ who has an excellent library of the 30’s – 50’s Big Band music. He will be surely asked to play something from that era.
When I started my DJ business, I was listening to what has become known as Classic Rock, although back then it was just Rock. The Birds, Alice Cooper, Bachman Turner Overdrive, The Who, The Beach Boys, and even the Beatles. So, I would be a good selection for a singles dance whose attendees were in the 30-50 year old range. You would never ask me to do a sweet sixteen birthday party for your daughter. I wouldn’t have the slightest idea what they were (or are) listening to.
Granted, in almost all venues, there will be a diverse music requirement. Big Band will not be the only request at the 50th anniversary party, but it will likely be a large portion of the request lists. So it is a very delicate balancing act to incorporate all the styles that will be requested. I just know that I have and will likely turn down any requests to do Rap music or sweet sixteen parties.
#2: Select the DJ for the venue based on his ability to fulfill the requirements of that venue.
My first DJ events were singles dances in Seattle. They were held in the cultural halls in two LDS churches. I soon discovered that I just didn’t plan very well. I was trying to fill an area approximately the size of a standard basketball court with sound. It could be done easily with the equipment I had set up for the first dance, if there were no people there. With fifty people trying to dance to the music, I just didn’t have the projection capabilities.
I soon added another pair of speakers about halfway down the floor, pointing straight across the floor at each other. This solved the problems of getting the music from the front row to at least halfway back. Another pair of speakers solved the issue of getting the music all the way to the back.
There were other ways to solve the special issues of sound. I could have installed the speakers on stands to get the music over the heads of the dancers. My approach was to use 350 Watt speakers, usually in 2 or 3 pairs, around the outside of the dance floor, to get the booming bass I thought was so important. I felt that the stand speakers were a little too “tinny”; I wanted to “feel” the music.
#3: Discuss with the DJ the recourse you have if he doesn’t fulfill your expectations.
I realize that expectations can be very generic. What you might think is a total failure in the event might simply be a missed conversation, one that didn’t take place, but should have.
I believe that most DJ’s, if they are truly trying to provide the absolute best for their clients, will take the time to get to know all of the client’s requirements, from the time the DJ needs to show up, to what they are going to wear. Showing up at 8:00 Pm for an event at 7:00 PM just doesn’t impress the guests very much. And wearing a tux to a 50th birthday party in someone’s back yard when all the guests are wearing cut-offs might be a little pretentious.
So, talk to your DJ. Ask him what you should do if he can’t find the volume knob, or if he can’t keep his opinions about the music to himself so the guests can dance to music and not a play-by-play of the latest band gossip. And, ask one of the most important questions if the interview process: Just how interested is he in making your event the best it can possibly be?
I have done DJ events from a singles dance with 4 people to an international event held at the Peace Arch near Seattle. Along the way, I tried to learn what the client expected, and did my best to provide that client with everything they needed and wanted. So, here’s a short list:
1) Get all of your expectations in writing.
Does the DJ have a Services Contract? Does it list everything the DJ will do for your event, including who he/she is bringing?
Give your proposed DJ a list of everything you want for the event when you interview him/her.
Talk every item over with them.
Insure the DJ has an Event Planer (and fill it out in great detail).
2) Find out if the DJ is a local independent, affiliated with a national organization, or just pulled his AM/FM tuner out of his stereo cabinet.
Does he/she have the final say in the decision process? If not, find out who makes the decisions, get a phone number and address, and contact that person.
Use Internet resources to verify claims the DJ makes. If he says he is a member of XYZ Entertainment, contact them.
Ask for a list of clients he has DJ’d for in the previous 6 months. You can go back further, but the industry has changed so significantly, the DJ may not be recognizable.
Don’t assume that everyone on the list is a positive referral. CALL EVERYONE.
3) Find out if the DJ has an on-line music library listing, or has a list printed up for you to select your music from.
Make your list as specific as possible. Don’t list “Country” as a music style; list specific country artists.
If you have a list of music, make sure he/she knows what you want to listen to.
Find out what you can do if the DJ doesn’t play what you want.
If your DJ says you have to listen to only what they want to play, find another DJ.
4) Really “look” at your DJ.
Check out his/her internet site. Look for anything that might tell you if he/she is the one you want at your event.
Ask for your DJ’s equipment list. I am sure he/she is very proud of their 1000 watt “boom box”, but that might not be the best equipment for your event.
5) Cheaper is not better
If you have gotten 4 quotes exceeding $700 each, and 1 quote for $300, don’t be excited to be getting a $400 discount; be excited to discover why you are getting that price.
In conclusion, your selections can make or break the event. If you select the wrong caterer, hire the wrong hall, have the wrong dress company make your dresses, or even hire the wrong DJ, the event may not be the best ever. But, a little detective work, a little attention to detail, a question here, a question there, and you will create an event to be proud of.
We were recently asked to write an article that has now been published in the Winter / Spring issues of San Francisco Bay Area’s Mocha Bride Magazine and Bride Nine Magazine.
Today, we are going to share our article in its entirety to help you know how to plan your dream wedding for $5,000 or Less.
5 Keys to Having Your Dream Wedding for $5,000 Or Less
By: Tim and Lisa Spooner
When we got engaged, we had beautiful dreams of a wonderful wedding. Many of our friends were getting married at the time so we attended their weddings and imagined what our wedding would be like. We wanted our wedding to reflect our special love for one another while giving our family and friends an opportunity to celebrate with us.
The only obstacle to achieving our wedding dreams seemed to be our very limited financial resources. In a community where the average cost of a wedding was more than $24,000 the huge cost of a wedding loomed in front of us like a locked door blocking the path to our dream wedding. It seemed ridiculous to sink so much money into our first day of married life. Yes our wedding day would be special but should it warrant such wild spending? We refused to believe that wedding dreams should have to be purchased at such a high cost that would inevitably put a pinch on our newlywed finances.
After consulting both of our bank accounts, we agreed that we could comfortably afford to spend up to $2,000 on our wedding day.
We chose to believe that we could achieve all our wedding dreams by using just five keys. These keys made our dream wedding possible. Since then, we have helped thousands of brides and grooms use these very same keys to unlock the door to their dream weddings.
Key #1: Know Your Budget
Wedding spending can be a very slippery slope. Unless you know exactly how much you can afford for each aspect of your wedding it will be very difficult for you to say no to all kinds of upgrades and add-ons. Before you know it, the dream wedding you imagined will have turned into a monster with a life of its own and your wedding expenses will have snowballed out of control.
You should carefully consider how much you want to spend on your wedding. Keep in mind that after the wedding thank you notes are written you will be faced with everyday bills like rent and everyday problems like a car breaking down. Do your best to make sure that the expense of your wedding isn’t a part of these financial stresses.
You can easily find a helpful wedding budget online that will calculate how much of your overall budget should be applied to each aspect of your wedding.
Your budget should guide how much you spend on each part of your wedding planning. You will be amazed to discover that simply knowing your spending limits will open up great doors to savings that you never knew existed.
Key #2: Know What You Want
The wedding world is full of all kinds of marketers trying to persuade you to believe that what they are offering is essential to the success of your wedding.
Before you get swept along like a flower petal on a river, anchor yourself by thinking about what is really important to your wedding.
Ask yourself why you want to have a wedding ceremony and reception. What is keeping you from simply visiting the justice of the peace or taking a trip to Las Vegas? Once you know why you want a wedding ceremony and reception you can start to envision what your wedding day should be like.
You need to know what goals your wedding is meant to achieve. If one of your goals is to have a fun celebration of your marriage with your family and friends, then you will want to focus on making your reception everything you want it to be. If another goal is to have lots of beautiful photographic memories of your wedding day, then you will want to make sure that you hire a good photographer and choose a venue with beautiful background scenery.
You probably have more than one goal for your wedding but if you think carefully about it you should be able to think of one primary goal for your wedding. The purpose of our wedding, for instance, was to be an occasion for our guests to celebrate our marriage with us. Once you know the primary goal for your wedding, you can make sure that all of your other wedding goals support your wedding’s overall purpose.
Instantly downloadable Wedding Planner reveals Tim and Lisa’s strategies that made their $2,000 dream wedding and countless other beautiful dream weddings possible.
You can then design your wedding with your primary purpose in mind. Knowing what you really want from your wedding will allow you to focus your wedding dollars and your energy on what is really important to making your wedding dreams come true.
Key #3: Know Your Resources
Even if you are not expecting either of your parents to pay for your wedding, you should still check in with them to find out if they are able to contribute in any way. You might be surprised to find out that they were waiting for you to come to them and invite them to help you reach your wedding planning goals. They may be able to offer to pay for a certain aspect of your wedding such as the wedding cake or the wedding dress. Or they might be able to write a check to cover some portion of your wedding costs. They might be able to give you a tip on where you can get a great deal on your wedding and reception venues. Bottom line is that you won’t know until you ask. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that your parents can’t help.
As you think about the various roles that need to be filled at your wedding ceremony and reception, try to think of family members and friends who would do a great job filling each position. Don’t forget about classmates, co-workers, and members of your church. Among all of these people you will surely know a crafty individual who could arrange your flowers, a musician, or someone who can fill any other role in your wedding planning.
People are often generous when they know who they are helping and will give you a great deal on the service you need. Just be sure to express heart-felt thanks for any services provided to you at special pricing. You may even want to give a thoughtful thank you gift to individuals who are particularly generous.
As you think about a location for your ceremony or reception, try to also think about which of your friends and family members are associated with that venue. If the owners of the venue know you or someone you know they are more likely to give you a special discount price when you ask to use their location.
Key #4: Know What to Spend Your Energy On
Planning a successful wedding can take up a lot of time and energy. You should try to delegate time consuming projects like flower arranging and table decorations to willing helpers. You will stay busy enough just coordinating and overseeing everything.
Most of your friends would love to help you with your wedding in some way. They are probably waiting to be invited to have a part in your wedding planning and you won’t know it until you ask them.
We were talking with a friend today who told us that she assumed her friends did not want to help her with her wedding because they were not approaching her with offers to help. As a result, she ended up asking only three of her friends to be a part of the wedding planning process. She told us that after the wedding she found out many of her friends were disappointed that they were never invited to have a part in her wedding planning. They were all hoping to help with the wedding in some way but did not feel right interfering with the bride’s plans.
As the bride, it is your responsibility to ask for help. Don’t wait for your friends to come to you – they probably won’t, even if they would like to be a part of your wedding planning team.
You of course do not want to burden any of your friends with too much work. But if you carefully choose friends to help out with key parts of your wedding planning that fit their particular skills and interests, you will find that they’ll consider it an honor to be a part of your wedding planning team.
Just make sure that you honor them in turn by giving them some creative freedom, giving them your time, and by expressing how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate their help.
You could even have some of your friends over for a craft party. Your friends can come over to help you put together a craft that you will give away as favors. You can express your appreciation by providing snacks and buying pizza. This will save you a lot of time while giving you a chance to have a great time with your friends.
By getting your friends and family involved in helping with your wedding planning, you will be freed up to focus on making sure that everything comes together the way you have envisioned for your wedding day.
Key #5: Know Where to Get the Best Deals
When we were planning our wedding, we looked into buying a unity candle along with family candles. We found that the simplest unity candle sets were selling for about $30.
Then we went to the local crafts and hobbies store where we bought the candles we wanted and the desired decorative enhancements for just $7.
At home we assembled them and had our very own unity candle set for just a fraction of the cost that most brides were paying for similar unity candles.
If you are willing to assemble a few pieces, you can find much of what you need at a crafts store where you will pay just a fraction of what you would pay for a ready-made wedding item.
Also keep in mind that your reception is really just a specialized party event. Instead of paying the big bucks for a “wedding reception” table cover, why not take a look at a party store where you will find a “party” table cover at a much lower cost. The only difference will be that it won’t be packaged in a box that says “wedding” on it.
Second-hand is another great way to go when purchasing items for a wedding. Most wedding items are only used one time and then put in storage. Eventually, the owner of the wedding item gets tired of storing it and puts it up for sale on eBay or in the classifieds section of the local newspaper. Check out eBay and the classifieds and you can find anything from tulle to a bridal gown good as new for bargain prices.
An Open Door to Your Wedding Dreams
The five keys we have outlined for you can unlock the door to your dream wedding. Like us, you can grab a hold of those five keys and move forward with planning the wedding of your dreams at whatever cost you are comfortable with. Even if you can only afford to spend $5,000, $3,000, or less than $2,000 like us, your dream wedding is very possible with the five keys we have shared with you.
Download Wedding Planning on a Budget to discover how Tim, Lisa, and other couples have been saving thousands upon thousands of dollars on their dream weddings!
Wedding bells are in the air and that day you have always dreamt of is drawing near. The problem most couples face these days is wedding finances. People associate the best weddings with a lot of money. However, that is not the case. You can have your dream wedding at an affordable price with a few of the ideas stated below. Read on:
Favorite Restaurant
Nowadays restaurants have private rooms that can be rented. Most hotels for weddings offer special rental packages for their restaurants, including advice for planning your wedding day. Others have a beautiful back garden if you desire a garden wedding. These are among the best budget friendly wedding locations. Pick a restaurant that you and your man frequent then have them reserve a certain day for the ceremony. Some restaurants will be delighted to do the catering as well for a reasonable price. This is a way to share with family and friends your special place.
The Park
Parks have become a common place as wedding locations because all a couple will pay is a small nominal fee. Most parks are decorated with vintage fountains, lovely picnic areas for guests and are easily accessible. If you intend to go with the park idea, make sure you settle for one with a covered patio and well presentable.
Theater Halls
If you have been to a theater you will notice that this is a romantic place to stage your perfect wedding. Getting married on the theater stage will be breathtaking and you will also be supporting the arts department. Some common theater halls being used these days include the Brooklyn Academy of Music. The second floor of this theater hall is perfect for the wedding reception. If you are a local resident in New York, you will be offered a steep discount. When selecting a theater hall, pick one that reflects your theme, for example an old theater will bring in that vaudeville charm while the modern ones will offer a contemporary theme. For non residents the fees charged here are low and mainly used to maintain the building. With a good decorating team you can turn a theater hall into one of the most magical wedding locations.
Former College
Where you attended college I am sure your institution had an alumni hall or perfect chapel. Why not grace your occasion at your alma mater for merely pennies. Most colleges charge alumni very little while non alumni will still find it affordable. Your former college will be honored to have their student wed on campus and will do anything to make things easier for you.
Unusual locations
While dating your man, there must have been places you loved to go. It could be on the farm or at a certain amusement park. These locations are hardly used for weddings and when you inquire with the management about hosting your own they will be thrilled. The mere fact that people do not stage weddings here will give you a chance to score a big discount on the fee.
Weddings do not have to be too costly, with these few ideas you can make your day one to remember. Use these to save enough in order to get that amazing wedding dress instead.
We have responded to some questions from a reporter and thought you would find the answers interesting.
Is the idea that a wedding has to be a $30,000 staged luxury event keeping some couples from tying the knot until they have more money or the economy improves?
We have heard from some couples who have been engaged for years and are still putting off their wedding date primarily for financial reasons. They didn’t think that they could afford their dream weddings and didn’t want to give up on their dreams either so they were waiting and waiting.
It naturally takes a young couple just starting out a long time to save 20-30k for a wedding so, often, they continue to wait until they finally decide that they really need to just get married.
Usually at this point they start looking for ways to plan their dream wedding at an affordable cost — that’s when they find us.
The truth of the matter is that this idea that a nice wedding event has to cost tens of thousands of dollars is simply not true.
The problem is that many brides and grooms often do not have the discipline to stay within their wedding budget.
Most brides and grooms have an idea of how much they can afford for their wedding but they do not have a plan for achieving their goal and end up spending twice as much as they expected.
They have an attitude that as long as they are going to go into debt for their big event they might as well go all out.
What they don’t know is that most brides and grooms do not spend anywhere near as much money as these numbers we hear in the media.
You see, when you hear that couples on average spend $30,000 (now, it’s closer to $20,000 with this recession), you think that the average couple spends that much on their wedding. Not so!
Back when we were hearing that the average cost of a wedding was nearly $29,000, wedding industry insiders could have told you that actually 4 out of 5 couples would spend less than that. In fact, a full 50% of couples would spend less than HALF of that!
We suspect that this is still the case with today’s national average of $20,398. So, the average couple spends much less than the average cost of a wedding. It is the not-so-average couples from wealthy families that skew these numbers. (statistics from TheWeddingReport.com )
But the wedding industry doesn’t make money by putting brides and grooms in touch with reality — the wedding industry makes money by telling couples that this is the most important day of their life and that it is their once in a lifetime opportunity to make their dreams come true.
At least that has been their strategy. Perhaps the strategy will change now that they have a bunch of couples fooled into thinking that they cannot afford to get married.
According to a recent FindLaw.com survey, 40% between the ages of 18 and 34 say they are waiting to get married and have children due to the current economic climate. So, there are a lot of couples out there who aren’t giving the wedding industry a dime right now because they think they have to save up for a wedding costing a small fortune.
Is it ever smart to delay a wedding just because you haven’t saved “enough?”
Couples need to be financially responsible; however, they must also be practical about their relationship. Couples need to be aware of extra stresses on their relationship while they are waiting to tie the knot.
They have chosen to live the remainder of their lives together and it is natural for them to want to begin experiencing as soon as possible the complete unity found in marriage.
Some couples seem to be able to tolerate long waits while they are saving up for the wedding and honeymoon. Others find the waiting period to be stressful and uncomfortable and are eager to discover how they can achieve their dream wedding at an affordable cost.
On the other hand, is it ever smart to go into debt for a wedding?
We think that couples understand better now the importance of avoiding wedding debt. Job security is at an all-time low and couples now realize that they cannot assume that they can be happy living with wedding debt hanging over their marriage.
We know that financial troubles are very much connected to marriage troubles. The two go hand in hand. That is why we find it so sadly ironic when couples go into debt on their wedding day of all times. They create debt trying to start a happy life when in fact that debt will invariably produce stress and tensions in their new life together making it more difficult than ever for them to have a happy marriage.
Brides and grooms should keep in mind that whether they are on a tight budget for their wedding now or not, they will very likely be on a tight budget once they are married and trying to build a life together. Will they remember their marriage day as a happy event in their life? Or will they wish they had a way to go back in time and spend their money more wisely so they wouldn’t be starting their new life together with so many financial headaches?
We feel that there is an unfortunate superstition among brides that their wedding day will foretell the quality of their future married life together. They feel that if they have a ‘perfect’ wedding day then they can expect a ‘perfect’ married life together.
This superstition does not hold up under analysis and if that ‘perfect’ wedding day was achieved through debt then it may more likely predict a difficult life together with some real struggles ahead.
Are parents still paying for these $30,000 affairs?
Even before the recession, many couples were paying for their own weddings. TheKnot.com did a survey of 18,000 couples married in 2008 that reveals that 43% of couples were paying for their own weddings. 44% of the brides were receiving help from their parents and 12% of the grooms’ parents also contributed.
Whether the parents will be paying or even contributing to the wedding costs has always depended on a number of factors.
First, is the couple financially dependent on the parents? If so, they are more likely to have their wedding taken care of too. However, the marriage age is rising and most young people have left the nest and are on their own by the time they get married.
Couples who have started their careers and have left the home or have independent attitudes will probably not receive much help from their parents because their parents feel like the couple can take care of themselves or because the couple themselves feel like they should provide for their own wedding needs.
Second, we should ask if the parents’ are financially able to pay for a wedding. With many parents getting laid off and seeing their stock-market based retirement funds shrivel up, they may not be able to help much, if at all, with the cost of a wedding. Also the young adults are not as likely to seek help from their parents when they know that their parents are struggling to make ends meet.
The percentage of couples paying for their own wedding expenses has been steadily rising and we expect to see this trend continue.
It isn’t common wisdom, but we wouldn’t be surprised to see the cost of weddings drop further even after this recession as more young couples take responsibility for their own wedding costs.
Paying for an event out of your own bank account (instead of your parents’) has a way of making people more practical.
We hope the weddings of the future are not so much about things that money can buy but more about celebrating love and unity with friends and family.
Couples are happily surprised to find that their wedding day is actually even more special to them because they had to prioritize and plan the day for the purpose of celebrating their marriage commitment (not just a showy event) and they find that their wedding day is not impersonal but truly reflects who they are because they put their own special touch on each aspect of the carefully planned day.
Today, we would like to share an article on wedding planning written from a guy’s perspective. Hope you find it helpful.
Planning a Wedding Just Got Easier
By David C. Reynolds
The first mistake a newly engaged man makes is to believe and follow the ‘accepted norm’ that women relish planning their wedding and all men have to do is nod and say yes to everything and figure out a way to pay for it. While this ‘customary norm’ does not necessarily guarantee divorce down the road, it certainly serves to steer you in that direction from the get-go.
Why? Because women want their men to be more than just the man in the tux at the alter and they want them to actually SHARE in the planning of their special day.
Men hear this and want to run in the opposite direction – thinking ALL sorts of conflicts will ensue if they try to share in the planning. Or that they will be over ruled every step of the way anyway.
Women however will tell you that they want their future spouse to be involved in the planning – not always in the decision making, but at least in the planning. This carries forward to their married years also – men who are distant from family decisions tend to be less supportive. And in the end, this is what most women want above all else – support.
Even if you don’t agree, it is better to go through the decision making process together than to leave one party with all the decisions. If for no other reason than the one decision maker gets tagged with all the blame if something doesn’t work just perfectly. Many a bride has burned themselves out before the honeymoon ever arrives because they had to do ‘everything’.
Weddings are NOT something most men growing up desire to plan. For many, the sheer enormity of the planning makes them ill. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Many men realize that just engaging in the process pleases their future bride and tends to smooth the relationship road over the long term, a road that we all know can get quite bumpy.
Listening and communicating are traits most women say they desire in a man and the smart man is one who offers these from the very beginning of the wedding planning process.
This process is most likely going to end with a lot of ‘give and take’, so the best plan is to start giving and taking early on and establishing a wholesome pattern for the rest of your married life.
David C. Reynolds is an author and longtime veteran of the Hotel business who offers common sense, money saving travel tips and advice. He also writes on relationship issues and co-authored a honeymoon budget book. He now invites you to explore the wedding planning process and learn how this vital communication issue can be enjoyed by all parties. Go to www.TheWeddingPlanningGuru.com
The new concept in wedding invitations is to send your wedding invites out in two batches. First send your invitations to those on your A-list. Then, once those on your A-list have RSVP’d you can send out your invites to those on the B-list. This is a method of controlling how many guests attend your wedding when you have more guests you would like to invite than you are able to invite.
We recommend avoiding the A-list / B-list method of inviting people if you can. But we understand that for some brides and grooms it may be very tempting to give this a try in order to accommodate a small venue or a tight budget.
The tricky thing is making sure that no one discovers that they were on the B-list — in fact, you don’t want anyone to even suspect that there is a B-list!
One way to do this is to make sure that you keep each social circle together on one list or another. For instance, your work colleagues should all either be on the A-list or on the B-list. If you make the mistake of inviting one of your co-workers with the A-list and have the rest of them on the B-list, then they are all going to be wondering why they didn’t get an invitation yet.
Since social circles intersect this can really get messy.
Another problem is that the success of this method of inviting people to your wedding is entirely dependent on each person faithfully RSVP’ing.
Realize that many of those invited will not be great about RSVP’ing. They will assume that “of course they know I’ll be there for their big day” OR “I’m sure they don’t need to know that we aren’t going to be able to make it.”
This can make the A-list / B-list option a bit challenging.
If you decide not to have a B-list, we recommend inviting about 15-25% more people than you hope to have at your wedding. Chances are only about 75-85% of the people will be able to make it.
You should also send an invitation to relatives and close friends even though they will obviously not be able to make it. For instance, send an invitation to your aunt and uncle who live on the other side of the country. They will be happy to have an invite from you as a token of your wish that they be a part of your big day.
Here is an article about list management that we think you will find a big help:
Gracious Ways to Manage a Wedding “B” List by Guy Antonelli
It is a fact of life: when you are planning a wedding, you can rarely invite everyone that you would like to. Either the budget is too small, the venue is too tight, or your family is just too big. One way that some couples handle this dilemma is by grouping their wedding guest lists into “A”s and “B”s.
In a nutshell, the “A” list is the group of people that you will definitely be inviting to your wedding. This group usually includes your immediate family, attendants, close friends, and the random people that your parents insist on inviting to your wedding because they are paying for it. The “B” list will typically be people that you would like to have, space permitting. “B” lists are generally populated by people such as more recently acquired friends, old college chums you haven’t seen in a while, and your co-workers.
The way to create the “A” list is to add up everyone that you must have at your wedding, and then keep going with names from your extended circle until you have hit the limit of either your venue or budget. Do this as if every single person on the list will actually be coming (which of course, they won’t). In other words, if your venue can only seat 110 people, then your list should have exactly 110 names on it – and don’t forget to include the bride and groom in this head count! You now have your “A” list.
Anyone who did not make the initial cut is now officially on your “B” list. Okay, so far, so good. As the R.s.v.p.s start to roll in from the first set of invitations, you can invite one person from the “B” list for each declined invitation. From here on in, things can get a little trickier. The wedding invitations need to be sent out to the “A” list well in advance of your wedding date, usually at least 8 weeks, but sometimes even more. Where it gets dicey is that you have to finagle responses from all of the guests on your “A” list much earlier than usual – four weeks before the wedding at the minimum. If people ask why you need to have your answers so early, blame the caterer; whatever you do, never let on that you have a “B” list waiting in the wings.
Let me repeat: no one should know about the “B” list (though some may suspect, based on the timing of the invitations). It is not improper or poor etiquette to have an “A” list and a “B” list, however it would be terrible if any of the “B” listers were made to feel like they were your second choice guests. This means that when you are sending out the invitations, you must do so based in part on the social and familial circles of your invitees. You can’t invite your friend Sally eight weeks before the wedding, but send out a last minute invite to her sister Margaret. If people are going to talk, put them both on either the “A” or “B” list together to avoid hurt feelings.
Some people find the idea of two separate guest lists to be highly offensive. If you feel this way, then there are a few other paths that you can take. One of the nicest things that a couple can do is to scale back on the luxury of the wedding to be able to include everyone who is near and dear to them. Maybe you have to have your reception in a mid-range hotel instead of a ritzy private club, but in the end, you may find that who you have at your wedding is more important than where you have it.
Other couples will find other cost-cutting solutions to be able to expand their guest list. For instance, you can have a brunch instead of a sit-down evening reception. Another way to cut expenses is to order your bridesmaid jewelry sets online. You can find truly beautiful handcrafted bridesmaid jewelry sets made from Swarovksi crystals and freshwater pearls – they will look like a splurge, but can actually be very affordable bridesmaid gifts. Some other things that you can order online to save on costs include wine (depending on the laws of your state), invitations, and wedding jewelry for the bride.
Whether you decide to have a two part guest list, or simply to cut your expenses so you can expand your guest list, the key is to be gracious. If you do have an “A” and a “B” list, be careful to keep that piece of information private. As long as you make all of your guests feel welcome and wanted, your wedding is sure to be a fabulous success.
Guy writes on many subjects including travel, customs and society.
They are putting together a really nice product that gives you access to valuable interviews with top wedding and marriage experts.
In our interview we share the story of how we planned our dream wedding on a tight budget and reveal the strategies that led to our success.
Marriage Guru Interviews is a new website and will continue to add many more valuable interviews with leading wedding and marriage experts.
Since they are just getting started, they are currently allowing free access to all of the interviews including the interview with us.
This is unbeatable value and you could save a fortune on your wedding planning as well as learn how to have a very happy marriage by getting in on this now while it is still free.
A reader recently posted a very kind review of our wedding planner on her blog.
She is the editor of the popular budget wedding blog WeddingsAffordable.com so she gets the chance to review many different wedding planners available on the market.
“Wedding Planning on a Budget is just one of the many budget wedding planning ebooks on the market right now – but it is, in my opinion, the best one available today.”
“Tim and Lisa’s advice goes above and beyond their competitors, offering solid, informative guidance for brides everywhere.”
“Out of all the budget wedding books I read when planning my wedding, this was my absolute favorite. Tim and Lisa’s down-to-earth advice is superb – I don’t know how many thousands of dollars I saved on my wedding, but a lot of my savings can be directly attributed to tips I picked up in this book.”
“I really believe that Tim and Lisa’s book, Wedding Planning on a Budget, is the absolute best value for your money on the market today. The advice is good, and you’ll find it easy to save money by applying their tips to your own wedding. You owe it to yourself not to start married life buried in debt from an expensive wedding – so do yourself a favor and pick up the book now.”
Thank you, Vicky, for your very nice review. We are glad to hear that you found our book helpful and wish you continued success with your cheap weddings blog.
Today, while doing research for a free guide he is putting together, Tim discovered a shocking truth…
The statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce is false! That’s right, not true. Just an urban legend.
Simply stated, it is the careless piecing together of unrelated statistics. Number of Marriages in one year divided by the number of Divorces that same year equals the number of those marriages that failed.
This is of course a silly mistake. The divorces for a year do not necessarily correlate to the marriages in that year. In fact, it is more likely that those divorces correlate to vows made over a long series of many years before that year the divorces took place.
Most of the divorces in the calculation are probably from marriages from many years past that finally see a green light to divorce. Let’s face it, it has only recently become more acceptable to divorce. So many marriages that have been expired for years and years suddenly sign divorce papers making it look like there is a sharp increase in divorce per marriage.
The problem is that wrong information can lead people down paths they don’t need to take. All of a sudden, couples are feeling like their marriage is doomed from the start. But they don’t realize that statistical odds are in their favor.
Unfortunately, divorce rates are much higher than we would like but couples need to know that marriage really can work “till death do us part.”
To learn more about the actual statistics, see these two articles:
We have just written an article called “Your Wedding Budget: Five Steps to a Debt-Free, Dream Wedding.” We hope you find this helpful as you plan your dream wedding.
According to an article recently published by Calgary Herald, the average cost of a wedding in Canada is $25,800. Their source is StatsCan.
The website MyCanadianWedding.com says that the wedding cost in Canada is between $20,000 and $30,000.
In anycase, that is a lot of Canadian dollars. A survey by WeddingBells.ca reveals what brides and grooms are spending on the weddings they are currently planning. These brides and grooms on average expect to spend $17,300. It seems that they, like the brides and grooms in the United States, have not budgeted for a $20K to $30K wedding. They are hoping to beat the averages and save on their own wedding costs.
Many Canadian brides and grooms have discovered our book “Wedding Planning on a Budget” and are using its strategies to plan a wedding that fits into their personal financial goals.
We hope that more brides and grooms use our strategies to bring down the national average cost of a wedding in Canada while accumulating a small fortune in savings.
After receiving 100’s of responses from brides and grooms regarding the many different competing wedding planning guides available on the market today, a major wedding website offering a variety of wedding services announced on October 27th that Wedding Planning on a Budget along with two other wedding planning guides have been voted the top three wedding planning guides on the market.
It is very encouraging to see our hard work in creating and improving Wedding Planning on a Budget so much appreciated. Yesterday, we made some additions to Wedding Planning on a Budget’s content bringing its page total up from 112 pages to 128 pages. Although we continue to add value to Wedding Planning on a Budget, we are not increasing the price. Even though our wedding planner is already considered by many to be underpriced, we want to keep it priced as low as possible so that every bride and groom can benefit from this absolutely essential wedding planning resource.
Congratulations to Jaime Dugan and Erik Huffman who will receive a Charleston, South Carolina wedding valued at more than $80,000. The wedding will take place on April 4, 2009 at Wild Dunes Resort. They submitted the winning video entry to a contest sponsored by Charleston Area Convention & Visitors Bureau.
Watch Jaime and Erik’s Winning Video
See Erik Surprise Jaime with the News that They Won
If you wish you were being given $80,000 to plan your wedding, we hope you consider getting a copy of Wedding Planning on a Budget. With this downloadable wedding instructional and resources guide you will feel like you have unlimited financial resources as you learn our winning strategies to planning your beautiful wedding without spending more money than you actually have.
Wedding bells are in the air and that day you have always dreamt of is drawing near. The problem most couples face these days is 
The new concept in wedding invitations is to send your wedding invites out in two batches. First send your invitations to those on your A-list. Then, once those on your A-list have RSVP’d you can send out your invites to those on the B-list. This is a method of controlling how many guests attend your wedding when you have more guests you would like to invite than you are able to invite.
Hey Tim and Lisa here with an exciting update…
