Planning a wedding is truly a social event — almost as social as the event itself!
When planning your wedding, do not be astonished that everyone wants to have a say on your wedding planning. Although it is tempting to say “Bug off! This is my wedding and I’ll plan it the way I want it!” we encourage you to make your wedding uniquely yours in a more valuable way:
Encourage the input! It sounds backwards, but by encouraging everyone to give you their ideas and input, your wedding can become even more uniquely yours!
Here is how it works: You encourage your family and friends to share their ideas with you — trust us it won’t take much prompting on your part! REALLY listen to their ideas. Make them feel that they are a part of your team by respecting their ideas – and most of all respecting them! Show how much you value their idea by asking for more of their thoughts and reasons behind that idea. Ask them why they are suggesting so and so. Let them know what you had in mind and your reasons (without being defensive) and ask them what they think about that.
Hint: This strategy works best if you are not easily offended when people suggest they have a better idea. Try not to defend your ideas. Just see if you can better understand their ideas and better understand your own ideas through their eyes.
Let your friend or family member become excited about your wedding! This is best accomplished by making them feel that they are valuable contributors to your wedding planning. Hint: Excited family members and friends are helpful family members and friends.
Let your friend or family member know that you are looking at a number of ideas at this point and are not ready to commit to any particular idea yet. You will keep their idea in mind and seriously consider it along with the various other ideas you are being offered by various sources.
Let this person know that you do appreciate their ideas and input. You welcome any more thoughts they might have on that or other ideas.
In the end, you have final say – and that can go without saying. The very fact that this person is approaching you with their wedding planning idea is an indication that they realize it needs approved by you to make it into the wedding. No need to rub anyone’s nose in this little fact.
Now, here is where the payoff comes into play: Since you have encouraged rather than discouraged feedback, these people will feel valued — very important! and keep coming back to you with their suggestions and be anxious to help you with your wedding planning.
Some of their ideas will be incredibly helpful and you will wonder why you didn’t think of them — they will be unique, which will make your wedding special and soo YOU!
Also, when people suggest an idea that doesn’t gel with one of your own ideas and you choose to respectfully and patiently hear them out, you may realize a way to improve your own idea or some compromise that may at first seem weird but in the end will seem special, unique and, in a word, YOU!
It is great that you are visiting advice columns like this blog, but don’t forget the advice available right at home!
